*edited version* typo at the ven kai zhao's part..too sleepy ytd..*

I was waiting for 77 today when I saw this strong man in crutches. Despite having only one leg, each step he took was a step of strength. I was really amazed by the speed he was going at when he chased for the bus. The driver was also very nice as she waited for him to get seated before driving off despite the long line of buses waiting behind her.

Few thoughts came to me when I saw him boarding the bus.

1.      How many times in life do we wake up and feel thankful fo r having this healthy body?

2.      How much compassion do we actually have? Do we only show it to people whom we feel are so called “less equal”, or are we really able to show this loving kindness to EVERYONE including people we do not like? (not doubting the driver.. just that this thought came to me when I saw her being so thoughtful)

I wonder how many of you thought of this, but this thought just came to me suddenly. Undoubtedly, I am guilty of both of these. Haha.

The thought of being grateful for having a healthy body to practice and to lead life is seldom on my mind. Despite knowing that life is impermanent, I guess I haven’t really REALIZED it because I think most of my time is spent on either mundane stuffs or just slacking away. The time I devote to practice is really so little compared to the times I use for satisfying my senses.

It also came to me suddenly that maybe my morning puja was not as mindfully done as I thought. When I recite “Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu” every time after puja, I guess I it mostly out of habit. But well, after this thought came to me, I guess the next time I say Sadhu x3, it shall be the time I rejoice that I woke up with a healthy body. 

Talking about showing compassion to people, I think everyone of us is guilty of not being really compassionate. I remember Ven Kai Zhao telling us that the real compassion comes when we do not expect anything in return. I think we might always think that “hey, I do not expect anything in return when I am helping the needy!”  But Ven Kai Zhao reminded us that most of the time, we help others because we like the feeling of goodness we get when we help others. He says that the real compassion comes when we dun get too attached with the wanting of this goodness and are ALSO able to radiate it to people who are like you and I.

Recall the number of times we felt irritated when we see inconsiderate people on the streets. Or when we felt a certain person “deserves” to be punished when s/he does something we think is wrong. Are we ready to forgive these people with the understanding that people do commit mistakes? Are we always bearing in mind the fact that everyone has a chance to change?

I guess we usually say no to these questions.. Something that has to be borne in mind always if we want to be free from the mental suffering of: “why cant s/he behave in a certain way?”, “why is s/he doing this to ME?”, “whywhywhy??!”

In Old Path White Clouds, it was written that the Buddha reminded his Bikkhus alot of times that “ with understanding comes love”.

I love this phrase very much.. A lot of times, we hope for others to understand us and not get mistaken. However, when we think others committed a mistake, we never included the possibility that it may be a misjudgment on our part.

Again, this reminds me of the day I forgot to change the toilet rolls and was scolded by my mum for being lazy. At that very moment, I hoped for my mum to understand that it was not because I was lazy but was because I was overwhelmed by tiredness to remember putting a new roll in the toilet. But it also occurred to me that I had once accused my brother of being lazy and assumed that he was finding an excuse to justify his mistake.

Maybe not everyone of you is as unreasonable as I am, but I guess when we start to assume things as they are, we fail to give the other party an opportunity to explain and shut ourselves in our own world assuming that the “ME” is always right in our own judgement.

Something for you to ponder upon?

Gotta stop here now! Super tired!!!! Did some abs exercises with Dave today.. wah.. I think our stamina is REALLY bad.. gone were the days I had gold for my physical fitness tests.. hahaha (impermanence? Hehe) Now I’m like this lazy couch potato who refuses to do exercise.. hhahahaha..

Once again, had another fulfilling day.. awwwww.. talking about fulfilling.. I think our jigsaw puzzle is ONLY gonna be completed in August 2006… When will the last piece be every placed in???!!!

Hee.. so much about the jigsaw puzzle.. haha.. I’m meeting my darling Yuhan tomorrow! Haven’t seen her since retreat ended!!! Catching up with her before she goes for Sayalay Dipankara’s retreat on sat…